Hi Nan Lawson,
I'm sorry to be a whiner. I really am. But... it's been 12 1/2 weeks since I ordered my custom portrait for me and this boy I like. I meant it as a gift for our 753rd anniversary, and I was mucho-excited about it. After you've been together eons like we have, it's nice to pull of a great surprise, you know?
Well, I didn't pull anything off. Our anniversary came and went a month ago. I got a lovely, hippie bracelet from Amos and I gave him a really nice... hug. I know, super pathetic, but my back was up against the wall. I had no plan B. With delightful prints such as yours, why would a girl need to come up with a backup plan? I now realize the error of my ways.
Then, about 3 weeks ago, my draft came. Dearest Nan, I forgot any ill will. I loved the print. It's freaking fantastic. So fantastic I showed it to all my friend and family with an email written in all caps, just to make sure they understood my excitement. It went something like this: CHECK OUT MY SUPER RAD AWESOME GIFT TO AMOS FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY!!!!! WON'T HE LOVE IT?!?!?!?! AREN'T I THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE ENTIRE, HUGE, WHOLE WORD?!?! AH YEAAAAAAAA.
As I said above, that was 3 weeks ago. I asked for one small revision -- for you to add the bracelet in, if you had time and it wasn't too much trouble -- but that's the last I've heard from you. Nan... what gives? First of all, I need to pay you. I have concrete evidence of your sketching genius and I think that should be rewarded. Secondly, I would really like my print. I'm not good at waiting, you see, and the last 12 weeks have been very difficult on me. I had a spot picked out in the apartment and everything. I was going to write a blog post about how awesome it was. I was planning to use it as my facebook profile picture. Waiting these past 87 days has been hard.
I emailed cutes-y, pleasent emails like "Nan, do you have an ETA on when my poster will arrive? I cannot wait for it to come - it's so great! Anxiously Awaiting!" Nothing. No email to explain your slammed and it'll be until November. At least I would know, you know?
This weekend I finally broke down and showed Amos the draft, just to defend my honor that I am a girlfriend who plans and puts thought and time into gifts. He liked it, and that makes me happy. For the record, once it arrives and I frame it, I will be wrapping it up so he can open it... because that is how I roll. Gifts need to be wrapped, even if you know what it is and I'm wrapping it in Trader Joe paper bags. Wrapping is just one of my Life Rules.
Dear Nan, where are you? Where is my poster? Could I have a bit of communication, just to calm my frazzled nerves? It's hard to be in love this much and have it be so unrequited.
Anxiously Awaiting... still.