21 August 2013

We're Leaving Japan

One month from yesterday, at 5pm JST, we will be leaving Japan for good.

One month from today, at 3pm PST, we will be landing in America. For good.

My emotional state right now is all over the board. To wit: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Friends, I've been sitting on this for awhile, and I'm sorry. I'm a bit backed up in blog posts, mainly because some of them are sticky and difficult to write (like the last one). Amos and I are moving home. Plane tickets are booked (as of yesterday), notices are given, jobs are lining up back home, our appliances are for sale on facebook. (You need a Japanese fridge? Call me! Priced to move!)

We knew that we would be leaving in the fall. It was a decision Amos and I came to after I turned down grad school. Fall is a better time for me to land a job back home. We would land before the holidays, hopefully making housing easier to find. It was time.

When I was back in America, we got our move date. September 20th. I was in Starbucks, parriahing off their free wifi*, when Amos sent the email. "We have a date: September 20th. Official." I burst into tears. I couldn't tell you if they were happy tears or sad tears; there were just tears. It was happening.

The difference between this move and our move here is that I'm much more accepting of the tears. It's like I now have an internal checklist of what to expect. I can say to myself that there will be at least three unexplainable emotional meltdowns during this process. That Amos and I will not see eye-to-eye on several large-scale life decisions. That I will cry silently over a cup of coffee in a strange coffee shop at least once. That both the highs and the lows will turn my head and flip my stomach. That the first hour on the plane will be one where I am bereft at leaving the country and yet totally pumped for the tiny, tiny wine glasses they give you in business class. So tiny! So cute! But I'm so sad!

There's a whole host of things I'm feeling right now, and I'll be writing more about them in the coming weeks. My soul is ready to leave... I find myself forgetting simple phrases I use to easily use. Reading has regressed. Patience is wearing thin for the endless summer. I'm beginning to pull out of my home here to prepare for my home there. But I'll miss this place like crazy. I know Japan has nestled deep in my heart and, even in the short time I've been here, it's changed me. It's tough, you guys. And sad. And exciting. And I'm so glad I have a place like this to share.


*We all love to hate on Starbucks, but the free wifi, the clean bathrooms, and the ability to sit in there for over an hour without anyone giving you the stink eye makes it a pretty clutch stop while travelling. Also, I had mad gift cards, so...

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