I feel we need to talk. To level, if you will. You have positively taken over my life. I feel we are spending too much time together. You're there when I first wake up in the morning, and you're staring me in the eye when I grab a glass of water before bed. You don't appreciate the amount of time I spend with you. Every day, I scrub, I rinse, and I repeat. You seem oblivious to this fact. You insist on multiplying like inantimate rabbits, and it's not okay with me.
So please stop. You're making me fantasize about one of these:
I hope you understand my concern.
PS - Rust stain under my faucet, you're next on my letter writing campaign. You need to clean up your act.